Nothing But

Sometimes I feel like my insides
are inside and out. I need something besides
this pain. I wish I could just
shut these emotions off. It is a must,
I do not understand but when I try
it takes all I can not to cry.
I don't share my thoughts
because I know I will get caught
in a string of emotions that will
literally begin to kill
me because they have never spoken.
And to be randomly awoken,
would tear at my
stomach, maybe than you will see why
I do not share what I feel
because as much as I would like these wounds to heal
I know that the scars they leave
will never fade. So do not be deceived.
Just because they begin to fade away
I know that one day I will pay
by the hauntings of things I never
said, or things I never spoke of ever.
Thinking I was the tough guy
that has no emotions, well that was a lie.
I always thought I could just turn
them off, but now I have soon learned
that the pain I feel,
is nothing but real.